You’re a Single improviser. Just broke up after long relationship. It hurts when your ex starts new project before you. You feel free, but you don’t know what to do. You meet exciting new people and start some affairs, projects, maybe one night stand, maybe something more. You are very excited, following the adventures. You’re blooming, you’re on fire, creative, sexy, intelligent. Sometimes your experiments are disappointing, but you can forget about them quickly. If you want, you can have different affair in every city, like a sailor.
But it can be exhausting. You travel, you bring all the experience back, and suddenly you feel, that you have no one to share it with. Of course, you have your kids, your students, that you are taking care of, and they are always waiting for you to come home, and teach what you’ve learned. But you have your kids in your school. And you get back to your empty house, and you feel lonely.
And you start to miss someone to hug you at home, and ask how are you doing during your travels. But who could that be? Who’s exciting? Who’s a challange? You know, you’re not gonna fall for someone boring and avarage. You’re scared. You think you’re doomed. You accept being lonely, you’re fine with yourself.
And then, one day you find that Someone. Someone intelligent. Funny. Strange. You have a crush, but you can’t admit it, because you are scared of being rejected. But you spend more, and more time with him/her/them. First dates, rehersals, jams together. First talks about life, dreams, fears. First moment, when you are vulnerable. And then you can’t help it, you fall in love. You discover your unique universes. You are talking about destiny, and what you believe in, you have a similar goals in your art. You plan your near future, your own formats, which people will know, as yours.
You become serious, you bring up a name of your group. You make it official on facebook, take a photo together and put on fanpage. Now you are together. You have your warm home. You have someone to cry in the shoulder, to share your mind and soul. To experience everything together. You want to buid your theatre together, you dream of performing together as grandpas and grannys.
After another travel you get back with a new ideas, and the rest doesn’t really like them. But they try to work on them. Next time they have an idea, that you don’t feel at all. You’re not having that much fun at shows, as you used to. They’re leaving early, they don’t want to talk all night again. You feel that something is wrong, but you don’t want to think about it. You found the one, right? What is your problem? Next day your partners are cancelling the rehearsal, because they have something more important. You want to continue the adventure and the thrill, but suddenly, you are alone in it, while still being in a group relationship. For few months you try to save it, but everyone can feel on stage, that something is gone. Later someone say „I want to quit, I don’t feel it anymore”. It doesn’t matter if it’s you, or someone else. The result is the same.
You’re a Single improviser. Just broke up after long relationship. Still looking for true love.
PS Title by Xristos-Apostolos Bou-Rou Simpson
PS2 Lots of love for Allnighters.
/fot. Wojtek Rojek
An interesting analogy. And sure there is a similarity between the single, dating live and the one of a searching or developing improviser. You got your goods, no ties, like to show off what you got and get in short (often nice but superficial) contacts. Hey, been there, it’s pretty awesome. Today here, tomorrow there. Few true responsibilities. And a great place to make experiences and to learn like crazy!
But I think like in dating and love life for many of us something similar happens in improv after a while of experience grasping; we arrive at (life) questions:
– What do I have to show for this lifestyle?
– Is everything just a repetition of the same?
– What am I building up?
– What am I adding something to? (which may even be bigger, than myself)
Randy Dixon once said to me: “all you have from an improvisers life is a bunch of memories and a box of t-shirts.” (or something like it, sorry if I am misquoting you Randy…). That did not seem satisfying to me.
For myself I can say, one of the thinks that makes me happy, that gives me a sense of meaning, a sense of satisfaction is to create something. Something that stays in this world (at least for a while), something that is at least a bit tangible. Something were I realise what I did was more than me filling time (for myself or others). Something me or others can build on.
But as everybody know: nothing good comes easy. You got to work for things with worth (I think in this sense it is even the work you put in, that creates the worth, but well, I am an economist, so….).
And I think work in this sense is connected to:
– doing things that are not only fun but necessary
– sticking with and committing to projects and people over a long time
– forfeit opportunities which seem great for the short term
– create something which is useful for others.
And this sound a lot like a relationship wich is a lot like a marriage.
Marriage in an improv context? I think finding working colleague in improv. Starting a company. Being in it to last.
What I want to say is, i think both a valid lifestyles. I think it is important, that when is done with one of the two lifestyles then acknowledge this. Don’t wine. Accept it. And put yourself on the path for the lifestyle you want. Start working. Look for people who want to work with you, who are willing to do the things from the previous list. Or make contacts and be open like crazy.
Nothing good comes easy (don’t forget: pain is bad, discomfort is good)!
Gerry
Oh yeah, … Hurray for allnighters!